Hump Day Part Deux

Alright, so while I'd like to say that the day ended by my finding $100 and drinking it all at a local watering hole, it did not. The day as a whole was miserable, but in order to avoid being a complete Debbie Downer I will only give the highlights (or low lights I guess) of the day:

A 40 something co-worker with two children ages 7 and 12 commented that not only did she like my outfit today but that she had the same skirt I was wearing. Just a head's up, there will be a brown tweed skirt being posted on the Craig's List "free" page in the near to immediate future. If you're interested, act fast.
I sat through a meeting on a topic I knew next to nothing about, which lasted for an hour and fifty-four minutes.During the meeting a gentleman was chewing gum so ferociously that it appeared as though he was trying to chew off his own face.
On the T ride home a gentleman who resembled Lurch from the Adams Family hovered over me and was breathing through his nose with such force that my hair was blowing in the hot, stale, nasal breeze.
Now, despite all this, I am determined not to make everything completely negative like every other journal or diary I have ever kept growing up. This will be different. First of all, I invite people to read this unlike my childhood diary, which my sister and neighbor used to repeatedly steal, memorize and then recite back to me later (that is devastating to a third grader, might I add). Second of all, I refuse to let this be used against me later as evidence that I should seek therapy (which has not happened yet, but I'd be lying if I didn't think I needed it after re-reading some of my old journals...yikes). It's time to find a happy place, just like Happy Gilmore or Lloyd in Dumb and Dumber, just before he is about to go down on Sea Bass (played by my personal hero, Cam Neely) in a men's public bathroom.

So it's time to reflect on something positive. When I was finally able to escape from under Lurch's oppressive nasal exhalation and sit down, my mood instantly improved. For one, I wasn't at work anymore and for another I felt much more confident that Lurch wasn't going to inadvertently shoot a snot rocket into my hair. The list of things I had to be unhappy about was diminishing already. Once I had a seat I set right to ignoring everyone around me by reading my book. When I glanced up while turning the page at one point, I noticed the woman seated to my right opening up a packet of recently developed pictures. Expecting standard candids taken at a family bbq or derelict children forced to pose and smile for the camera, I was surprised to find she was looking at black and white sonogram pictures. I had to do a double take. The pictures showed everything--I could see the thing's SPINAL COLUMN. Apparently when those bad boys are in the womb they are transparent-- it's insane. Ten fingers, ten toes and what I would have to define as its guts. It was all right there in a dozen miniature black and white photos.

This woman must have looked through the set of pictures at least a dozen times turning them this way and that. I can only imagine what was running through her mind--I mean, I'm assuming it was hers because I can't imagine printing out pictures of someone else's uterus. I don't know I'd even want to look at my own, never mind at someone else's. She must have been pretty psyched. Now I for one am positive that if that were me, today, I would be sobbing, snotting everywhere and more likely than not projectile vomiting all over the place. I would most certainly not want photographic evidence and I definitely would not be looking at it.

But she on the other hand seemed excited. So good for her. Better her than me!

So look at that. I took a wretched day and found the bright side. Although I had a minor set back when Lurch put on his music loud enough so that I could hear it and I had thoughts of punching him in the temple, I thought better of it and just put on my own headphones.