It has been brought to my attention by the Sugar Free bloggerita that several of the readers think I am her friend named Andy. Let me assure you that I am not said Andy. I am Larry. I have also heard that this Andy fellow is the world's tallest midget with a raging Napoleon complex and is balding at the tender age of 25. Tough times Andy, but Boston already has a Dustin Pedroia, and I am sure he makes more money than you. Hope you are reading along and things work out for you though.
On to my post….
Soxtober Fest.
Here in Boston, we have been blessed with the success of our sports teams over the past several years. The rest of the country thinks we are spoiled and hates us for it. I agree; we are spoiled brats. I am glad that you hate us, because we don't like you either. Boston is the center of the Universe. Deal with it.
As the Sox are my favorite Boston team, October has been a particularly enjoyable month during most fall seasons since 2004. However, there are many pitfalls to this fun-filled month. Don't get me wrong, I would never trade the gluttonous, Boston sports-induced excitement for anything in the world, but there are some things that are really starting to chap my ass.
Unlike most young professionals, I do not drink coffee or any other forms of caffeine for that matter. During this month, like most citizens of Red Sox Nation who stay up to watch the late games, I am miserably sleep deprived. Lack of rest without caffeine is not a pleasant combination. Today is definitely no exception. (Sider: Last night's win was amazing, by the way. Fenway finally felt like 2004 allover again.) Further, this October has been much worse than others on the sleep deprivation scale. My job as of late has been treating me like a 120 lb man in a maximum security prison when it comes to hours spent in the office. You may have guessed that I work in finance. You would be correct. Despite the long hours, I'm just happy that I get a paycheck every 2 weeks because I know others are not as fortunate. Whatever, at least the unemployed get to sleep until noon.
Last week, in an effort to curb my sleep deprivation, I went back to my dark mistress (the coffee bean, brewed & served over ice). It was a bad decision, but desperate times call for desperate measures. The experience has been like resurrecting an old hook-up. Despite the fact that I knew it was a horrible idea, she has brought me happiness albeit short term. It will be quite difficult to wean myself off our early morning romps in a couple weeks, but she continues to beckon me for the booty call each day. I am really looking forward to the caffeine withdrawal migraines in a couple weeks. I imagine these raging headaches could be like realizing the resurrected hook-up left behind the most heinous STD possible. Awesome, can't wait. Just for the record, I don't have any STDs…clean, disease-free, and very single in fact. Ladies, contact the blogerrita if you are interested.
Now, one would think that my reintroduction to coffee would better temper me for public consumption throughout the daily grind. Not true. I have become even more agitated with the things that annoy me on a daily basis. For instance, I am sweating even more on the T despite the fact that the conductor has the A/C working properly. This makes me angry and I can't figure it out. Maybe I need to see my primary care physician. Anyway, the morning T rides to the office are still miserable. I am usually late because I had to pick up a DD iced coffee. My tardiness ensures the train to be even more crowded with equally miserable and sleep deprived Bostonians. However, the evening T rides over to Kenmore for the games have been utterly unbearable. Last night, I was packed on a B line train sans A/C (but no heat either, thankfully!) with a couple hundred of my new closest friends.It was a sweaty mess and this was truly a motley crew. Our demographic was approximately: 70% Sox fans headed to the Fenway area,25% Brighton/Brookline area young professionals commuting home, 4% drunk college students, and 1% morbidly obese couple violating my personal space while they swallowed each other's faces in the throws of passion. I'll leave my hatred of PDAs for another post, but please get a room. That was just plain disgusting and everyone on the T car needed to take a shower to wash away the bad memories when you were done. But I digress.
Generally, I always support the commuter over the tourist when it comes to friction among these groups on the T. I am a commuter and tourists are typically a pain in the ass as the blogerrita has previously discussed. One could argue that Sox fans emulate tourists on the T. Sox fans are giddy with anticipation often telling loud and obnoxious stories to their friends while headed to the Park. True, this can be annoying. However, after last night, I support Sox fans over Brighton/Brookline commuters any day of the week. Nothing is more annoying than the filthy looks of disgust and displeasure on the faces of the Brighton/Brookline commuters while their T car is inundated with rabid, playoff-ready Red Sox fans. NEWS FLASH for Green Line commuters who reside west of Kenmore Sq: You consciously made the horrible decision to live over there. Do not take your poor decision-making out on us Sox fans. Actually, many of you are probably Sox fans too so don't be Debby Downer that we are actually enjoying this playoff run. I promise, we will be out of your precious T cars by November 1, and you can go back to getting normal amounts of sleep and living miserably among to the BU & BC students. In the meantime, I'm going to search for a new, non-addictive coffee alternative and buy some commercial grade antiperspirant. Go Sox.
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